More clothing confusion

As I stood in front of a rack of "new arrivals" at UAL which was flooded with tops bottoms and dresses I had yet another moment of confusion. I saw a very nice Ralph Lauren lace item that I picked up and held up to my chest thinking "is this a tube top?" then I lowered it to my waist and thought "no it's probably a skirt" so then I checked the tag because certainly it would tell me, right? Wrong! "M" that's all it said. Either way if I have to ask myself that it is definitely not going into the dressing room with me. So further into the store I found what I thought were linen shorts on the kids rack that would have been nice for Rylan when I saw that they were only 2.00 I checked the tag inside to verify the size and saw the word "boxers" written largely I didn't even see what size they were since I decided if I didn't know the difference between shorts and boxers we didn't need them at our house! Now that I'm sitting still in carpool line I think back to other shopping trips where I was unsure if I was holding up nightgowns or dresses... I always look around to see if anyone else notices the confusion on my face because I always figure that surely everyone else knows the difference between all of these things I've talked about. There are usually moments where I start to head toward the nearest sales associate with an item in my hand to ask "excuse me but is this a top or a bottom?" but then as soon as we make eye contact I turn my little happy butt back around and put the item away. I never want to be the girl who they laugh at for the rest of the day I know I made fun of people for asking stupid questions all the time hahaha so I just decide it doesn't matter anyway. Possibly all of my life I have had clothes issues though now that I think about it. I remember my parents would always get so irritated with me because I would pull my pants up as high as they would go causing them to be highwaters, they would try to explain to me that pants are supposed to be at your waist. I didn't care I hated for there to be fabric hanging between my legs so I wanted them pulled up where I thought they should go. I see so many pictures of myself with about 5 inches of ankle showing (I guess I was wearing capris before they were cool and that's why I feel like they fit weird, I always feel like I couldn't decide if I wanted to wear shorts or pants or it feels like they are really long shorts or really short pants either way I can't wear them now) and in most of my pictures from my child hood everything was bedazzled (I have no problems with that these days in face I pretty much want to bedazzle everything I own) and I wore what seems to be extra large t-shirts too. I'm sure my parents purchased clothes that fit me I just preferred the hiked up jeans and huge tops look I guess.....